Mentoring often begins with the belief that you need to have all the answers. Over time, you realize it is less about giving answers and more about creating the space for someone else to think, learn, and grow.
During a recent people management workshop for SRAs, Ananya asked everyone to write a note to their younger mentor selves. The activity led to honest reflections on listening, trust, feedback, ownership, empathy, and the mistakes that quietly shape us into better mentors.
These notes are not rules on how mentoring should be done. They are lessons Greybians have learned through real conversations, difficult moments, small wins, and the everyday responsibility of helping someone move forward.
Here is what they would tell themselves if they could go back to the beginning.
Gaurav Yadav
A young mentor once asked, “What makes someone a good mentor?” The answer was simple: not having all the answers, but asking the right questions. Our role is not to solve every problem for others; it is to help people think better, feel supported, and build the confidence to find their own way. Sometimes the most powerful things you can say are: “Tell me more.” “What do you think is holding you back?” “How can I support you?” People may forget the advice we give, but they will remember how we made them feel: heard, respected, and capable. So stay curious, listen without rushing, and guide without taking over.
Lavin Sharma
Being a mentor is not about having all the answers. An ideal mentor becomes a mirror for their mentee, someone who helps them see themselves more clearly, with the courage to provide a reality check when needed, and the empathy to understand where they’re coming from. Every mentee is unique; never make assumptions. Be the person who recognizes the “X factor” in your mentees, sometimes even before they recognize it themselves. And remember: do not aim to be a perfect mentor. Aim to be one who genuinely cares, listens deeply, guides honestly, and believes in the potential of every person you have the privilege to mentor.
Tarun Dagar
Spend less time trying to have all the answers and more time asking better questions. Credibility comes less from expertise than from curiosity, listening, and helping others think clearly. A few lessons I wish I’d learned sooner: separate facts from assumptions, don’t confuse confidence with certainty, listen for what’s unsaid, and invest in relationships early: trust compounds. Ultimately, mentoring isn’t about creating people who think like you. It’s about helping them think better for themselves.
Upender Kumar
If I met the mentor I was a year ago, I’d simply say: “Har answer ke saath reason do, aur har feedback ke saath respect.” That’s how people grow with you, not just work for you.
Vinay Devdutt
Review work like you are teaching someone how to think, not like you are catching mistakes. The moment a review feels like a test they can fail, people stop learning and start defending. When someone misses something, do not lead with what they missed. Ask them to walk you through their process first. Discovery sticks longer than correction. “I need you to own this” builds responsibility; “Why didn’t you own this” builds walls. You will want to do things yourself because it is faster. It is. But every time you take work back, you are telling them you do not trust them. Let them struggle a little. Be close enough to catch them, far enough to let them try. You will mess up plenty. That is the actual training.
Aryan
Take some one-on-one conversations outside the usual office setup. A walk, a coffee, or a quiet informal space can change the quality of the discussion. Concerns that stay hidden in a meeting room come out more naturally, and the conversation becomes less like a status update and more like an honest exchange. Formal connects still matter, but the setting should support the purpose of the conversation. Once in a while, step outside the meeting room and create a space where the other person feels comfortable enough to say what they really think.
Pritish Soni
Keep working exactly how you are working. I know you’re dedicated to your work, and somehow, it is your superpower. But hear this one piece of advice and just sit on it: stop looking for labels, and stop trying to carry the burden of having all the answers. The people you are leading are just humans trying to figure it out, exactly like you. You don’t grow by being perfect; you grow with them. When it gets tough, remember what it felt like to be in their shoes, and lead with empathy. Don’t overthink it. Just let it sink in.
Smriti Dhiman
These sessions made me ask an honest question: was I really a good mentor? Not because I was harsh or impatient, but because being a good mentor is about much more than simply being kind. Before stepping into any difficult conversation, take a moment to calm yourself. Don’t form judgments before understanding the situation and listening to your mentee; there may be reasons they hesitate to share their struggles. And help them realize that making mistakes is completely okay. What matters is acknowledging them, learning from them, and creating a safe space where people can open up without fear of being judged.
Samiksha Sharma
An RA once took a client call that didn’t go as planned. Later that day, her mentor sent her a short message: “You handled a difficult call with courage. Let’s work on the rest together.” That one sentence stayed with her, because people grow faster when they feel that their effort is seen, not just their mistakes. My advice to my younger self: stop labelling people. It’s easy to assume someone who delivers late is lazy, but labels block you from understanding the actual scenario. Create a safe, empathetic space where the other person genuinely feels heard. And leave your ego at the door: admit when you’re wrong, skip the argument, and focus purely on the solution.
Harsh Bansal
Everyone has their own way of working. Don’t expect people to solve problems the way you would. Instead of focusing on how they do it, focus on why they chose that approach and what they can learn from it. Always think from the perspective of the team, not just the individual. Mentoring is a two-way process; you’ll learn as much from your mentees as they learn from you. And trust people with ownership: growth comes from experience, not from being told exactly what to do.
Mohit Gupta
You’ll hear this a lot: “Follow your passion.” Don’t. Passion is unreliable. It disappears on difficult days, hides behind fear, and rarely shows up before the work begins. Instead, follow your curiosity. Curiosity asks questions. Curiosity survives failure. Curiosity turns mistakes into experiments, and quietly becomes expertise. Most people wait to feel inspired before they begin; the people you’ll admire begin first. In time, the work creates the passion, not the other way around. Your future won’t be built by one brilliant decision; it’ll be built by hundreds of ordinary ones made with honesty, courage, and curiosity.
P.S. What are you curious enough to stay bad at… until you become great?
Anupam Bandral
Two things I wish I’d known at the start. First, you are not perfect. Don’t be afraid to let them watch you figure something out. Showing them how you work through the parts you don’t know teaches them more than any version of you that has it all sorted. Second, don’t shy away from the hard conversation. You won’t always be the person they’re happiest to see, and that’s fine. The kindest thing you can do is sometimes not cheering them on; it’s telling them honestly that something needs to change, and saying it early instead of letting it pile up until it comes out harsh.
Jaspreet Singh
Being a mentor is a quiet responsibility: the kind of work no one really sees or applauds. You feel it only when you see your mentee grow. I got the title 1.5 years ago, but I only became a real guide once I put myself in my junior’s shoes and understood how they liked to learn. Until then, I was just assuming. Your role is not to decide what is right for them, but to first understand them and then give feedback based on facts, while respecting their individual working style. And my magic mantra? Appreciate the small wins. That tiny bit of praise does more for their confidence than you’d think.